Being Thankful

It's Thanksgiving. 

A few moments ago I got off a video call where my parents and my brother's family were celebrating Thanksgiving.

I'm here in Florida and missing them.

My father's health is still in question although he's doing well at this moment.   My mother, while she is my mother and I worry about her mental state and her ability to drive and take care of herself if...when...my father passes.

I lie to them.   Tell them things are fine here at Casa De Wilson.  They don't know that I left my job in late September to learn how to drive a truck.   A half baked idea about finding myself, finding time to write (which I used to do a lot more of, and better...sadly you only get better when you write, and I've not been).

How it was a chance to get off the phones and away from things and look deep into myself and figure out exactly who and what I am.

It's complicated dear reader.   It's complicated.

Why is a 52 year old man still looking for and needing approval from his parents?

Our house is still up for sale, and we recently had a death in Susan's extended family.   I know she wants to be there, to be part of the lives of her friends and large family.

For me, I have mixed emotions about leaving Florida for the cold confines of Pittsburgh.  Part of me wants to go home, to be with my family.  To say goodbye to my Dad when that time comes, to be there for my mother.

To try and start some sort of relationship with my brother...and his adopted daughter.  We just got off the phone and my collection of children's classics is going to her.  They were given to me when I was three and I remember reading Black Beauty, Robin Hood, Heidi and Tom Sawyer growing up.  How those stories enraptured me.    Even now I hold these books with reverence.

They are 50 years old now, these thin blue volumes and the bindings are still good.  The pages slightly faded but the illustrations; looking almost like they were done with old wood blocks, are still fresh and clean.   On a whim I look online and find my books, my books!, for sale for over $100 dollars.   Two of the volumes are missing in that set, my set is complete and probably in better condition.

These were gifts for my kids.  It never happened that way.

I just hope that Avery, my brother's adopted daughter, develops a love a reading; a wonder for words and the worlds that they create.  That one day she will hold these books the way I do now, with nostalgia and wonder.  I touch the covers with love and respect.

Even though our house has not sold yet, we are packing things up to make it easier when that time comes, getting rid of things that we no longer use or need.  Sue's collection of Elephants, once numbering over 600, is being whittled down to sentimental items only.


Old Cd's, tapes, albums and yes; even old books are finding their ways into libraries and Goodwill stores.  The odds and ends that make up a life.  I hold a rare record in my hands and wish for a record player to here the notes of a long dead jazz trumpeter come to life once again, but I put it in the collection bin to take it to the local collector and see what I can put into my back pocket for it.

As much as I would love to keep an old Blue Note album, it is better that someone actually enjoy it before it wraps beyond recognition and repair buried in my closet.  Susan makes a joke about how she's glad it's not a Brown Note album which is an old joke only a music lover would understand.

She tears up over an old photo of her now deceased husband.  Scott was a good man.  Taking care of her and his daughter long after the divorce.  I always respected him for that.  It was what a man was supposed to do.  To care for those that he loves.

me in a horrid picture

It's later now, I raise a glass for the third year in a row for World Peace.  A tradition started on a whim by Pastafarians.  The rest of the world has stopped it seems.   I won't.   #pastafariantoastforpeace

I'm feeling mello and loved and oh so thankful.  I'm also feeling very sentimental as my Facebook memories remind me of rides that I took on this day and the best cat in the world. 

For my father and his being alive.  Even though I don't think I'll make it home for Christmas this year, I hope he'll make it through another.

For Susan, who stands by me and supports me.   Sometimes I wonder why.

For running water, for my home, for my cats that want to be petted at 3 AM when I'm sleeping, for friends, for everything.

Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving.

To Leave or to Stay

These past couple of months have been interesting to say the least.

The talk about me getting a new bike is settled for now (I will be buying a new bike by year's end).  A new dilemma has reared its ugly head in our family and is one, which while not consuming us, has certainly kept us awake at night.

Should we stay here in Florida, or head back home to Pittsburgh?

This all has to do with family.

The lovely Susan has family there, so do I, but her mother is starting to show signs of Alzheimer's disease.  Sue is the oldest child of five and it seems, the only one with not only the ability but the desire to help her mother.

Then their is my family.  My father is in his mid 80's and has two benign tumors in his head.  My mother, 10 years his junior, is capable of taking care of herself but she can't drive and is showing signs of dementia.  Unlike Sue's mom, she has not been tested but the signs of the two illnesses are similar, and my brother can not take my mother in for a variety of reasons.

Both of them will refuse to move to Florida.  Sue's mother is rooted to her home in Grove City, PA (about an hour north of Pittsburgh) and my mother will not leave her only granddaughter.  My father, always the stoic, knows that the best care he can get is in Pittsburgh.  It makes sense for him to stay.

We are faced with some startling realities. 

1)  Our parents are not immortal.  No matter how much we with they were.

2)  I have lost two aunts to Alzheimer's in the last 3 years.  Now my mother is showing signs of it or dementia.  This scares the hell out of me.

3)  Susan's medical issues can be better served in the cool of Pennsylvania, as the excessive heat in Florida can effect her more than we like.

It does bring up a good question though about what is home.   Sue's family is rooted to the area, she is too...even though she moved 1000 plus miles to be with me.  My brother feels the same way.  Although my parents have moved and traveled a lot since retirement, they still call Western Pennsylvania home. 

I love Pittsburgh, it's rivers run in my veins and I do like going back to it.  I've written about it before.  It is really a great place to live.  I remember reading somewhere that if Pittsburgh was a European city, people would flock to it.

However home for me is wherever I've hung my hat.  I've lived in Tampa for over 10 years, in Charlotte, North Carolina for over 10 years.   Charleston, South Carolina for a bit.  Savannah, GA for a bit.  I've considered taking a job in Jacksonville/St. Augustine, Florida at one time (and in hindsight, I should have but that's in the past).   I was also offered a job in Boise, ID early in my career. 

Pittsburgh may always be "home", but somewhere along the way, it stopped being "home."

I've been halfway around the world and am serious planning on retiring to Portugal if Sue and I ever break up or she dies before me.   I'm not joking.   I've looked into it.

Jack Kerouac must have influenced me more than I thought he did.   Jean Genet too but for completely different reasons.  I remember a friend of mine - Matt the Muppet - handing me that book when I was in my 20's.   "This book will fuck up your life."   To the young philosophy minded education major, it did.    But I regress.

So here I sit, a still young man that can not imagine himself being 52, considering what he will do.  Considering yet another career change and wondering if a move would be helpful at all.   I'm not sure if I could even find another job paying what I make now.  Nor am I sure I wish too.

When my grandparents passed, I was still a young man.  I didn't understand what my parents (who were my age) were going through.  What they were feeling.   Now I face the same choices, the same decisions that they did.  It's not easy. 

The reality of it is starting to sink in.

Roadside attractions and swamp buggies

Susan and I wanted to get away during the July 4th weekend.  We were not sure what we would do or where we would go, but she wanted to do something different and I am always up for an adventure.   After all, experiences are what create memories.

When our local news station did a little show on Swamp Buggies we both said "done."  These are often found in the Everglades and at one time were considered essential in the state of Florida since they were they only means of transportation in areas were there were no roads. 

Ochopee, Florida (pronounced exactly like it sounds) is home to the worlds smallest post office, the skunk ape research center and Wooten's swamp buggies and air boat tours which we decided would be our destination.  As it so happened we were the only two people on our particular buggy.

Our ride was actually pretty sedate, you enter one section and plow through about 3 to 4 feet of water before getting onto to dry land.  Where your exposed to the nature of the area, some local wildlife and a bit of local history.  Ochopee it seems was a moonshiners paradise at one time, as Al Capone had a casino in Miami at the time.

Two female deer showed no fear of the buggy and since Sue and I were the only ones on the Buggy, we were within 10 feet of them at times.  A curious raccoon also seemed interested in visiting us as he walked in front of the slow moving buggy at times.

A friendly grasshopper.

Of course if I'm this close to a national monument I had to go and see it.   Up the road a few miles was the world's smallest post office.

Legend has it that the swampland around Ochopee is home to a giant ape like creature, who differs from Bigfoot, a likely cousin, is several ways.  The biggest way in that this ape supposedly stinks; and stinks badly.  Giving him the name of "Skunk Ape."

Now never mind the fact that the only people that have supposedly seen the Skunk Ape work at the Skunk Ape research Center and Gift Shop.  I'm sure that is just a coincidence and  has nothing to do with gullible tourists.

I'm sure that these guys are legit Skunk Ape hunters.  I mean they have a jeep and everything, and nothing says "I'm serious about a fictional animal." like a jeep.

Besides just look at some of the evidence they found in all their years of research.  You can't argue with the evidence.

Sue and I enjoyed the weekend away, although we really didn't plan it well.  We left on a Saturday afternoon and had our little adventure on Sunday morning.  Next time I think we will leave on a Friday night and spend the full weekend in the Naples, Florida area.  Their seems to be a lot to do and see in that area.  Of course, more pics are on my Facebook page.

Happy July 4th weekend to all my American readers.  
  

Into the depth's of the earth

Sue and I about to enter the depth's of the earth

I have never gone spelunking.  Although frankly the idea of caving has always appealed to me.  The idea of seeing something unique, or something that very few others have seen fascinates me.  However I learned long ago, when I explored an underground pipe system with some friends as a young man; is that I hate being wet, cold and in the dark.

So given the chance to take a rare free weekend and go caving in Florida's only open air cave, I would jump at the chance.  Sue and I drove about five and a half hours north into the panhandle of Florida.  Some 40 million years ago Florida was covered by a shallow sea, and this resulted in limestone being deposited.  The limestone is raised up and then water seeps into the limestone, slowly dissolving the limestone and creating a cave.  This is known as a Karst formation.   

These caves can take million of years to form and each one is unique in it's own way.  They grow and change, admittedly very very slowly, over time.  Each one can, and often does, support a fragile ecosystem.  As such very little of the cave was open to the public, and my few attempts of photographing it, do not do it justice.  You can see the full album of the caves on my Facebook page  (please note there are two different albums).  

nom nom

We also decided to explore the nearby town of Marianne, Florida a bit as well.    The panhandle of the state was the first part of the state that was "truly developed" as plantation owners in Georgia and Alabama expanded southward into what was then Spanish territory in the early 1800's.  

As such the town had a variety of historical buildings and styles throughout it.   From the Spanish influenced post office building to the antebellum southern style of the early to mid 1800's.  The rest of the state would be developed after the Civil War when the railroads started to push south along the coasts. 

Sadly we went exploring on a Sunday morning/early afternoon and the city was pretty much empty and shut down.  Still though we managed to find a few things of interest and plan on making another trip somewhere different soon.  

It feels good to be getting back to exploring my adopted state and all it has to offer.  

"straws" and an example of "cave bacon" in the upper right corner

a pool filled with water, so still it appears as glass would

Example of the Spanish style I love so much

Not technically Antebellum but lovely still

Finally getting down to St Pete's

I woke up this morning and it was 44 F (or a tad shy under 7 C).  It was going to warm up and quickly, so if I was going to go for a ride...now was when I wanted to get going.

It's a rare free weekend where I literally have no where to go or anything to do.   It being a weekend I wanted to avoid the beaches, but slowly a plan formed in the back of my mind.  How often did I want to get pictures of Kimmie down by the water?  How often have I said I was going to do that then not?

Of course that meant going over the Howard Franklin Bridge, (275 - see map below) which I did once before and thought for sure that I would get killed on it.  However riding in daylight, coming home in daylight....that's another story right?  Plus it's been a while since I rode that bridge.  I'm much more experienced now.

After a hardy breakfast of fruit loops and coffee off I went!

St Petersburg is actually a large city in it's own right.  It's on the other side of the Tampa Bay, and truth be told their is no real easy way to it.  The city only has one overland route to St Pete and three connecting bridges.  The Howard Franklin is always a mess, the Gandy is more to the south of the city and apart from the main city of Tampa.

St Pete is the home of the Tampa Bay Rays, of the MLB.  I was tempted to go get a photo of the Rays stadium but they had a game and I wasn't going to get involved in that mess just for a photo.  It is also the home of the Rowdies's, my beloved soccer team.  Their stadium is actually open on one side allowing the view of the bay, making it one of the more picturesque stadiums in the country.

As I drove up and down the main drag of St Pete, the aptly named Central Ave, I was reminded again why I love city life.  All those little restaurants, art gallery's, and various book stores waiting to be explored.  A variety of people, colors, smells and sensual experiences.  All waiting for me.

Their were a few places I wanted to go but due to construction near the new pier, which used to be an inverted pyramid, originally built in 1973, was being rebuilt.  So I headed down towards the Dali museum and the home of the Rowdies.  It's close to the pier and right across the street from the yacht club.

The Dali from the parking lot

Another view of the Dali

Kimmie with St Petersburg in the background

Sadly I was unable to get a good picture, but you can see a pod of dolphins at play

Might as well enjoy the Farmers market

And some good music

And enjoy a wonderful lunch under the trees

Not only a famous book store, but its said that Jack Kerouac haunts it

Happy Mother's day!!!

Overall I could not think of a nicer way to spend a Saturday, just wandering about and seeing what I could see...and realizing that I had just barely scratched the surface of this place.  How I wish I would have stopped and taken pictures of the many murals I passed!  That I barely touched all the wonder that is Florida and life in general.

It's days like this that make riding wonderful.  It's days like this that make life worth living.  At the end, when I finally did pull into my home I logged 124 miles.  In the end though it was not the mileage that excited me, it was the smiling faces of little kids, the wonderful sandwich I had with homemade bread and artisanal cheese while sitting under the trees, letting the cool breeze off the water kept me comfortable all day.

Sometimes I forget that I live in paradise, when the weight of the world is upon me.  Sometimes it's nice to be reminded of that fact.  Funny how a bike ride to somewhere can do that.

Visiting the Mantee's

Bob and I goof off some.

 
I have been to the Manatee visitor center several times.   It's one of my "Go to" places when we have friends and family visit us here in Florida.

Thanks to http://westernerworld.com/

Manatee's are sometimes called "Sea Cows" but are actually related more to elephants than cows.  They are slow moving creatures that have no natural predators and are more likely to be hurt by speeding boats and man than anything in the water.  Frankly when under the water it's very easy to see them as big rocks, since they normally just lie there on the bottom eating.

According to legend they were the basis of mermaids.  To quote a friend of mine, "How lonely would you need to be or how much rum would you need to drink to mistake a Manatee for a women?"

They are also endangered, having to stay within a narrow band of water temperatures to thrive and survive, in fact they will die if the water temperature falls below 60 F (15 C).  This is one of the reasons why they are generally found only in Florida and often in hot springs or areas of warm water.   This is what makes the Manatee Visitor center so interesting, the Big Bend power plant is required to pump the warm water it generates back into the bay.  So it's not uncommon to find up to a  hundred or so of these "sea cows" in the water near the plant.

Sue and Scooter Bob

It's also not uncommon to hear people complain about the power plant because they don't realize the symbiotic relationship.

The lovely Sue decided to tag along today since it was a lovely day for riding.  Sadly the water was murky and we did not see much in the way of sea cows.  

Nor did we spend time on the nature trails that surround the center.  You have seen one Mangrove you have seen them all.  We did spend a little bit of time in the Education center and gift shop, where the story of Scooter Bob was again told to the staff, one of whom got goose bumps hearing the story.

Bob spends a little bit of time in the education center

Checking out how the manatee's are identified.  Sadly each scar is man-made

Not life size but a close approximation

He kept singing "Them bones" on the way home.

Small, medium and "oh my God"

We know Wright! "Child of the Sun"

Bob checks out the Water Dome, which literally makes a dome out of water various times of the day.

Earlier this morning I packed Scooter Bob tight in his travel box, jumped on Kimmie and hotfooted it into Lakeland, Florida.   The more I learn about this town the more I think I need to spend a few hours exploring it, but the weather didn't look like it was going to hold and I technically had to show up for work today...sometime at least.

I had hoped to get a few pictures of Bob with the historic Swans, direct descendants of the very swans that once belonged to Richard the Lion Heart, of Lakeland.  Perhaps a few pictures of him enjoying  the Tigers Spring Training.  Even take him over to the wonder that is Florida Polytechnic. 

Bob meets the man himself.  

However with the nasty weather closing in and my requirements to actually make a living we decided to spend most of our time at Florida Southern University wandering about the largest collection of Frank Lloyd Wrights work.  He liked to refer to his work here as his "child of the sun".

I have a background in engineering and the sciences in general, so I can appreciate exactly what Wright was trying to do.  All his trademarks are here, the buildings use a lot of natural light and the Cathedral in general I'm certain is absolutely glorious during certain times of the day.  Water, also an element found in a lot of Wright's work makes an appearance here as well.

Inside the Annie Pfeiffer Chapel

 The campus itself is small but that that means that you can walk easily from site to site.  Their are a total of 18 structures on site and each one has its own unique feel and personality and the last one was completed in 2013.  Sadly the only one that was open to the public today was the Pfieffer Chapel.  Many of the buildings are sadly in various states of disrepair and their is an ongoing effort to restore them.

I was also surprised to learn that a few of the buildings were completed well after Wrights death.  During the Second World War, the students often labored under Wrights direction to complete the work on his buildings.  

Bob!  Get down from there!

 The Esplanades are covered walkways covering just over a mile and are timed in copper with a natural Green patina (see photo) and they often connect the buildings.  The supports are said to suggest the various orange trees which covered the campus at one time.  Wright could have made them all the same, but each section is a little different and some allow the flow of natural light in vie various skylights. 

At one time this was rated as the most beautiful college campus in America and I can understand way.  This is simply a lovely peaceful place and I for one have every intention of returning.

Just a interesting water feature on campus

The Esplanades

The steps are rounded giving an appearance of flowing lava

Back of the E. T. Roux library

Inside the Pfeiffer Chapel 

Pfeiffer Chapel from afar

Someone was promised a rose garden

You can see more here on my Facebook page.